The Day Ron Lost His Pants: An Air Canada Tale

By: John Collins

This is my favorite Air Canada story of all time—the day Ron Clark lost his pants.

The “C” gate was an amazing piece of equipment. You could load and offload a 747 freighter straight into the building. To allow the nose to open, the bridge had to be lowered to its lower limits. On this particular day, the C cycle freighter crew was tasked with parking the inbound 747. One of the guys on the crew was Bob Hill, who could do chin-ups on anything horizontal.

It was an extremely cold late winter’s day, so to stay warm, the crew stood just inside the building under the lowered bridge. Bob started doing his chin-ups. Not to be outdone, Ron, who was a bit of a “husky lad,” grabbed onto a shaft and started to hang upside down like he was on a jungle gym. What he had his legs around was a drive shaft for the bridge.

One of the crew on top of the bridge started the machine, and the crew downstairs heard an “ohohoh.” They looked over to see Ron now on his hands and knees. When he stood up, all that was left of his pants was the belt, the loops, and the pockets. The rest of his pants were spinning on the shaft.

Just then, the 747 came around the corner. Ron, being the lead, ran out on the centerline. He raised his hands, and up came his parka. Money blew across the ramp, and his pockets flailed in the wind. One of the crew members said, “What almost killed us was his little acorn poking into the cold through his peach-colored bikini undies.”

The pilot of the 747 slammed on the brakes because, four stories down, they saw some guy with no pants waving his arms, trying to park the plane.

100% true… you can’t make this stuff up.