Everyone in cargo knew “Brother Tom” — Tom Howell (may he rest in peace, 1931–2010). Tommy was a legend, famous for his stories and razor-sharp comebacks. He had a favourite forklift, and we all knew never to touch it, even by mistake.
He was known for dishing out one-liners — pure zingers — before casually driving off on that forklift, humming some tune like it was just another Tuesday.
One day, a message came over the cargo PA: “Everyone is welcome at 1400 hours in the cafeteria to celebrate Tom’s 25 years of service!” The managers must’ve noticed Tom hadn’t made his way to the “Macho Man” cafeteria yet, so they sent out the call.
At 13:55, I was walking past the customer pickup area with Lorne Cohen and Tom Taylor when we spotted Tom — sitting on his forklift, looking entirely unbothered. No rush. No movement. Just Tom.
I called out, “Tom, your cake’s in five minutes! Aren’t you coming down to celebrate your big milestone?”
Without missing a beat, he replied, “Well, Sister, when they told me to be ready at 1400 for some cake, I told that manager he could shove the cake up his arse!”
Then came the classic Tommy zinger:
“So if you get a slice, Sister, just remember where it’s been!”
We absolutely lost it. Doubled over in laughter.
And true to form, like the legend he was, Tommy drove off — humming even louder than before.
